So I need to give you a bit of forewarning, this will be a lot of backstory but it's needed for context. Also sorry for the length, it's a biggie. Now with that said, on with the story. When he (my CB bf) turned 18 (he's 20 now) his parents (lovely lot) gave him the option of either paying $300 rent every month or moving out. Of course he told them he'd pay the rent and stay with them. He never paid rent and still owes them around $1000. Yes they keep track because they needed and still need the money. Of course this arrangement was before we got together and I hadn't known about it. We went to the same highschool before he graduated and I dropped out (more on that in a bit). He seemed like a sweet guy, albeit a bit of a pushover, but a sweet guy nonetheless. The summer after he graduated he moved to Washington State (WS) to live with his grandma because he was now in debt with his parents and they couldn't handle him and their two other kids without a bit of help. This is where we got to talking. I was taken by his kind words and loving calls, it'd only been a month before I was smitten. I fall in love easily and he knew just how to pull my heartstrings. He'd been with a girl in WS but said he was unhappy and felt unloved. He openly admitted he loved me to his grandparents who gushed when they saw me over video call. However this was where my problems started and I was too blind to see it. After about two months into our long distance relationship he brings up how he wants to move back to our home state (HS) but cannot because his parents cruelly kicked him out because he couldn't find a job and were holding debt over his head. Distraught I talked to my parents and they'd agreed to let him move in with us. Yay! Right? Well of course! sarcasm Within the week CB was back in HS and moving in...with an entire houses worth of stuff. He hugged me and kissed my cheek thanking me profusely for letting him stay before scoping out his new living space. He seemed pleased except for the fact I live in the basement. Because my eyes are very sensitive to light it's difficult for me to do much without it being dim or completely dark. This becomes very important. CB= Choosing Beggar bf Me= me Mom= M Dad=D CB: Nice place ain't it? A bit dark thoughMe: Haha ya...you know I'm not really a fan of bright lights. Hurts my eyesCB: Right right, well that'll change once I put in my lampsMe: Lamps? (note: I had told him about my sensitivity to light several times already)CB: Ya, lamps. I can't do anything in the darkMe: Oh...ok (note x2: I have no backbone) Then begins the remodel. All of my things are moved into storage or a smaller room so he can put all of his things where he wants them. Six lamps are set up throughout the room (it's a decent sized room) and my god it's like walking around in California in July at noon. Painful fat tears are constantly in my eyes when I'm in there because of how much it burns. It takes him almost two days to set everything up the way he wants it and instructs me not to touch his things unless I ask. Ok? Fine. The first night went nicely, we cuddled and it was really nice to be held for once. Now I should mention this is only my second relationship (my first being with my still best friend), I am relishing in the attention he gives me at this point. For the first say week everything is amazing he's courteous of my eye issue, he's cuddly, he holds my hand, he even makes me a necklace! My parents then ask us both to the lounge. We oblige. My parents ask him if $100 a month sounds fair for him to live here. To which he lets go of my hand, crosses his arms, and declares "I'm currently in debt with my own parents you can wait until I've paid them off." Me and my parents are stunned at this statement. M: We know about your debt...but we cannot afford to let you live here for freeCB: It won't be for free, it'll only be a month or two to pay off my parentsM looks at my dad: Only a month?D with a sigh: I suppose one month wouldn't hurtCB: Great And with that he's off into our room. I follow numbly, sitting by him on our bed. I'm going to point out here that I am currently a contractor and work various jobs to save up to buy my own house, car, etc. But at this point I was still in highschool. As you would have it the month passes, and the next. Each month CB is badgering me more and more to just 'give up on my diploma' and to 'get a job'. I always retort meekly or not at all, to which he apparently takes as 'I don't hear complaints so I'll tell his parents he's dropping out'. My parents ask me about this, my boyfriend looks at me expectantly, I cry and just say that I'd rather go for my GED. I am 17 and my nearly 20 year old boyfriend (mid 19) is giving me a death stare and demands. I love him to bits and just want him to be happy. So I get a job as a contractor, I work 60 hours a week at little more than minimum wage ($10). All while studying for my GED. Of course no less than a week after I get paid he comes to me. CB: So you've got a bit of money now ye?Me: Ya! I'm going to save as much as I can! I've never seen so much money in my bank account!CB: Well if you've got so much money you wouldn't mind fronting my rent and phone bill would you? Just for this monthMe: What? I can't do that I want to get a down payment on a house by time I turn 20CB: Come on it's not that much only like $600Me: I only have $1500 in there right now...CB: If you love me you'll pay my rent at leastMe: Could you pay me back? I'd really like to save as much as I canCB: I'm your boyfriend why should I pay you back? Plus you already agreed to pay for my college when we move out (story for another time)Me: Why can't you get a job to pay for yourself?CB: Because no one's calling me back! (I find later this is a lie)Me: Ok...but just until you get a job ok?CB: Ya ya no problem love you babe My parents do not know I am paying his rent, phone bill, and for his food. We are four months into our relationship at this point and he is no longer affectionate towards me, he no longer makes an effort to even speak to me, he doesn't even bother to help around the house anymore. Unless I buy him something or take him to dinner I don't even get a half hearted 'I love you'. I go to bed at 8 every night because I need to get up at 5 am to get ready to go to work. He goes to bed at 5 am and wakes up at 7 pm (around the time I get home, to which he complains about me being too inconsiderate to be quiet when walking into the room while he's trying to sleep). This would not be an issue if it weren't for the fact he has all of his lamps on, plays video games with his pals with the volume all the way up, and throws things. The bed is not even a foot from where he games. My parents believe he's a sweet angel and treat him better than they treat me, which really hurts. He's sociable and easy for people to like. I am a hermit who doesn't like being around other humans longer than an hour or two. Our six month anniversary comes along and he doesn't even realize until I surprise him with a fancy dinner and a new book he's been coveting. Yes I am unhappy in this relationship by now, but I thought that maybe if I showed him I was emotionally and even physically available he might love me more. At the end of the night I try to be flirty and maybe a bit frisky? He avoids touching even a hair on my head and goes straight to bed. No I love you, no thank you, not even complimenting the food. Seeing as he seemingly has no interest in me I sneak onto his laptop to see if he's trying to work or if there was a reason he doesn't seem to love me. Low and behold he has a completely separate life on the internet where he's in a relationship with a girl where he bashes on me for being a "stupid f**" and tells everyone who will listen that he's getting free rent, phone coverage, and food from me. He hasn't applied for a job since he moved in, he hasn't even gone job hunting at all. This breaks my heart and I cry a lot and rethink my life choices. Again my parents love him to bits. They adore him and probably see him as the son they wish they had. Because of this I decide to just let him be. I don't want to hurt my parents by breaking up with him. So ever since I've kept my head down. I do not know what to do as I am a year into my "relationship" and am miserable because I know he's only with me because I pay his bills but I don't want to hurt my family by breaking things off. I'm sorry this has no happy ending, I guess I'm just hoping for advice? If you've read this far thank you. via /r/VoiceyHere https://ift.tt/2FM9Pxz
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