Hello priestesses. I made a throwaway account for this but have been lurking this community for months. The energy here had inspired and guided me and I trust this community more than any other subreddit right now, so I apologize for this "plea for help" style post which I have not seen here and which isn't exactly uplifting, but if someone could re-direct me to another subreddit where I could post this, where people are in tune with what y'all are in tune with, I will be grateful.
Long story short, I am pregnant. I just found out for sure two days ago but both me and my boyfriend have been "feeling" it for a couple weeks. In fact he says he felt it the night it happened. We are both quite "intuitive", you know what I mean. We have been dating for 8 months but only started having sex 4 weeks ago, so it's very early. We took our time because I needed to heal my inner wounds around sex, and he gives me the space and time for that. Most of the past year, I have been having a spiritual awakening, I can feel this world, but there was and is still so much darkness to heal inside me.
Things have gotten worse the past two months. I don't want to go into it, but my connection with my higher power has been fading, and some bad shit has been going on. Bad. I've been struggling. No details now but suffice to say this is NOT a good environment to bring a new life. I feel scared every day, terrified.
But it sucks because a) we both have never felt this way before, we love each other and want to have a child *one day*, it just wasn't supposed to be... now... and b) I feel it inside me. Even though physically, materially, it's so small. But it's this new life. Its own thing, its own energetic reactions. I can't help but feel love.
We don't know what to do, and this morning I experienced a *strong* bird omen, that I want to share with you. We were standing in the yard and he told me he doesn't think he would make a good father right now, not just financially but also the personal stuff, because he is still dealing with his demons as well. I touched him and told him that I would be perfectly comfortable with him as the father to my child just the way he is right now, if he showed that child even a fraction of the love he gives me every day. Right as I said that, this magnificent bright red male cardinal flew down to the grassy space *right in front of us*, barely a couple feet away, and just looked directly at us. Then he and his mate spent the next 20 min flitting around spots in a wide circle around us.
Priestesses, please tell me something, anything. I don't know what to do. If I bring forth this new life, it will be loved, but love is not enough to shield from the dark shit that is going on right now. We are utterly broke both financially and spiritually and the way out is LONG and HARD. It's still so early, such a small little thing, I could take a medicine and have a miscarriage, but I feel bad even squashing a bug, and I *do not want to commit evil*. Is there any way to redeem this situation? Goddess, I'm sorry...
**TLDR:** Unexpected pregnancy, supportive and loving mate, but broke financially and spiritually. Still very early, strange positive feeling bird omen, don't know whether to bring forth this new life, need any kind of guidance at all from a spiritually-minded intuitive person.
https://ift.tt/eA8V8J Submitted May 08, 2019 at 02:40AM by songbirdsung http://bit.ly/2DQRVs3
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