Lol just like life in general

I’m very depressed, have been in therapy for 4 months and been on lexapro for 2. I’m feeling better but I can believe this is it? Looking forward to talking to my doctor and therapist more. I also deal w panic disorder, though it’s calmed down since being on meds and avoiding triggers (working, explained below).Begging in March/april I started having panic attacks at work, which were (and still are) very terrifying but I never really thought anything was wrong, just that I was over reacting. Then I began to fear having a panic attack at work so much that I would have a panic attack before even going to work, which led me to just not going to my shifts. I quit the first job, got a second and had a panic attack after 1 shift and didn’t show up (walked across town for 2 hours kindof in a daze). I was fired from that job and the next at a grocery store because the same thing happened, I’d have panic attacks before my shifts. Then I got a job at a nursery and worked there for a month and a half. It got complicated when my boss hit me up on Grindr and was trying to drink with me and “see what happens”, then I began to have panic attacks at work. Finally I tried to work at a grocery store that my friend worked at, she put in a good word for me. I went to a training shift and worked it (very anxious on my breaks). The next shift I was walking to work and had a panic attack, went in late and told them that I couldn’t work. Then the next shift I walked to the store but couldn’t go in and then sat by the river until it got dark and was too cold to stay out. I have applied for many jobs and been interviewed several times with no luck. I’ve been selling my things online (slowly) but not making much. Any ideas for making money at home?Luckily my boyfriend is so generous and supports me emotionally and monetarily. I’m most grateful for the emotional support, I feel guilty at times when I can’t pull my weight in our budget. He’s an incredible partner who’s taught me what unconditional love is. I often feel sorry he’s gotta see me in such a low place, but he can always make me smile, and I know there’s nowhere else he’s rathe be then by my side.Anyway my depression and anxiety really make it tough for me to be motivated, social (while sober), interested and engaged in what’s happening around me. https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/ehuw5t/lol_just_like_life_in_general/?utm_source=ifttt